Thursday, March 14, 2013

Blue Bloods?

No, this isn't a blog post about Prince Harry or the endless speculation on the Royal Zygote.

And although Donnie Wahlberg is ugly-hot and worth a conversation and some ogling  I will not be talking about him either.

Yesterday I posted the following status update on Facebook:
Before I left for the airport this afternoon Maya handed me a pink magic marker and told me to keep it with me while I was away. I asked her why I needed to keep one of her markers and she said, "if you have something of mine with you, then I know you will be thinking of me the whole time when you are away."
I often post status updates showing Maya's sweet nature.  She demonstrates an emotional security well beyond her years and that is often a deep contrast both with an autism diagnosis and a little girl who has learning deficits.

As much as I Leo and I would like to take credit for that, that it is our amazing mothering parenting that fills our girl's heart with amazing amounts of joy, love and confidence, in many respects we are just reacting, fostering what we see come out of our girl and are just trying to nurture it, so that it will grow.

Yesterday's status update brought comments and likes, as they usually do. One comment came from one of Maya's former teachers, the teacher in many ways that is responsible for Maya's transition from a girl who melted down regularly, who hid under tables, who didn't listen and who could not follow a routine, to a reachable girl, one who is more in control of her emotions and significantly less afraid of the world around her.

She asked me if I ever heard of the term Indigo Children.

Um, no.

A quick Google found lots of information on the topic.  Indigo children is a new age theory which says that there are children who possess unusual, special and sometimes supernatural traits.

New Age?  Supernatural?  I almost clicked away.

As I read further,  thankfully it started to sound less connected with Scientology or running around in the woods sacrificing gerbils or whatever.

Indigo children are claimed to be born with an indigo auras.  This leads them to possess some or all of the following qualities:

the belief that they are empathetic, strong willed and curious and can be perceived by others as strange;
possess a clear sense of self definition and purpose;
exhibit a strong innate sub-conscious spirituality from early childhood (which does not necessarily imply a direct interest in spiritual and religious areas; and
a strong feeling of entitlement or "deserving to be here". 
Um, check, check, check, check.

Indigo children are also thought to be resistant to conventional ideas of authority and often do poorly in school.  Many have high IQs although like children on the autistic spectrum, may be difficult to test and may not do well in the standard verbal IQ tests.

There is some kind of connection between the indigo phenomenon and special needs, in particular ADHD and autism, that children with special needs frequently possess the indigo aura more frequently than their typically developing peers and therefore demonstrate an emotional clarity which defies both their age but also their diagnosis.

Now of course, like most new age theories,  there is no scientific proof that this is even a real thing and many have criticized the Indigo movement as yet another money making scheme through the selling of books, holding conferences and misleading parents desperate to find a silver lining to accompany their child's diagnosis and struggles.

It may very well be nothing but a lot of hooey.   It may just be me trying to find something, it might be me just looking for some special gift within her autism and other struggles.  She's not a math genius or academically gifted, she's not an amazing artist and doesn't show an uncanny ability at technical endeavors.  Still, her propensity for love and for understanding emotion seem far above that of any 9 year old girl.

Who really cares if it's real or not?  Whatever it is, it's a gift and I am going to treasure it and do my very best to foster it.
Her heart is completely open.  Who of us can really say the same?  It is genius.

1 comment:

  1. From a Buddhist perspective, this makes sense to me too, but in a slightly more expanded way. A Buddhist might see Maya as a Bodhisattva, someone who chose their own rebirth so that they could be of benefit to others. Not only is the Indigo child empathetic, but there's a purpose to it all. She brings something positive to those who are open to it. In the long run, it may be her autism that brings someone else to become more empathetic. As a Bodhisattva, even if she only improves the karma of one person, then her rebirth had value. Just think how many people are touched, and will be touched by Maya. Some may not have been empathetic to special needs in the past. If she brings out empathy, or helps other parents understand their own situation, she's benefitting not only the parents, but also their children and their wider family and social circle. It's contagious :-)

    Also, you wrote, "She demonstrates an emotional security well beyond her years and that is often a deep contrast both with an autism diagnosis and a little girl who has learning deficits", clearly a result of your parenting, providing her with warmth, love and acceptance will do wonders for emotional security. We're still working on that one....