Love Your Pets Appropriately People

This is going to be THE blog post that people unfriend me over.

Because people tend to turn the other cheek when you challenge their culture, their politics, their religion, their nutritional guidelines and their child rearing philosophy.  But there is one subject, that is absolutely, completely and totally off limits.

Their pets.

Now before I go all ranty on your a** (and I am about to, wait for it), let me say that I love animals and I believe that if you are going to take on the responsibility of owning a pet, it is absolutely necessary to be a responsible and caring pet owner.  You need to feed them, groom them, look after their health and well being and by all means, don't leave them in your f*cking car.  

I also totally understand that people love their pets, that their pets become members of the family and I think that is great.

What I don't think is great is when people try to humanize their pets.  For the same reason that I don't like circus animals doing tricks, my eye roll goes into overdrive when I see people cross that line between animal and human with their pets.

The worst time of year for this is the period between Halloween and Christmas where you see all manner of house pets be dressed up in various festive costumes.  

People, there is just no need to dress up your pomeranian like Tina Turner or your labrador in a coconut bra and hula skirt (no lie, I've seen these posted on Facebook).  It serves no purpose whatsoever to dress up your cat like Jessica Tandy (ok, I haven't seen that one).

A quick search of 'dog Halloween costumes' on Google Images brings up a dogs dressed as a cheerleader, a tarantula, a dinosaur, Kim Kardashian, Darth Vader, an old lady, a hot dog, spaghetti and meatballs, Pippi Longstocking, the Devil and Michael Jackson.

And that's not even a drop in the bucket.

Now I know what those of you who have pets and think that this is adorable are thinking -- what's the harm, we are not hurting the dog and they just look so doggone (get it) cute all dressed up?

Is there harm in the same way there is when you leave a dog chained up outside in subzero weather or locked in hot car in 90 degree weather?  No.  But the absence of physical harm doesn't mean that it is something that should be done either.

Dressing your pet up like Ben Franklin is not showing love for your pet.  Your pet doesn't feel loved in a powder wig.  Your pet feels loved when you play with him, take him for a walk or let him lay on your lap or at your feet while you pet him.

Call me nuts but I think if you love your pet, you should love them for who and what they are, because they are a beautiful and loving animal and a big part of your life, your heart, your family.  They are your family.  And they should be.

They should also be appreciated for what they are, in all their animal glory and not be humanized.   Trying to humanize them by doing stuff like dressing them up in costumes, in my opinion, crosses a line between loving, responsible pet ownership and using your pet to compensate for some kind of gap in the pet owner's own life.  The pet is getting no joy out of the costume, and actually some types of clothing or accessories may actually be harmful to your pet.

There are times where clothing for pets may be appropriate, for instance in cold weather and a little sweater on a small, short haired dog is cute and appropriate but there is no need for the mind boggling number of shoes, booties, jewelry and other accessories which are made to tug on the heart strings of pet owners and exploit their wallets for profit.   At some point I just wonder if all that crap is really about the pet being loved or about the pet owner overcompensating for something missing out of their own life.

Sorry, but dressing your pet up in a costume is just not loving him or her.  It may be many things, but it's not pet love.

If you truly love your pet, treat them with dignity and love and appreciate them for the beautiful, loving, loyal creatures they are.  Don't try to change them into small, cute furry versions of people.

Charlie Brown notwithstanding

I am not into Halloween.  There I said it, one of those things you are not really supposed to admit.  Because everyone (well at least Americans) are supposed to L O V E Halloween.  "How can you not like Halloween?" or "Come on, it's FUN!" are the typical responses that I used to get when I would mention that I am a person who is not into carving jack-o-lanterns, dressing up or going to haunted houses.  I must admit that one of the ancillary benefits of being an American who does not live in American soil is that I don't have to defend my dislike of Halloween anymore.  

Sure I spent my childhood dressing up, trick or treating and whatnot, but truth be told I used to always ask my mom if I could stay home and give out candy rather than have to schlep all over the neighborhood. And only when she would force me would I go out, with my costume, join the huddled masses of going from house to house to troll for candy.  Mind you, this was back in the days where kids over the age of 6 trick or treated at NIGHT without adults.  While most kids I knew relished trick or treating and would have gladly stayed out the whole night going from house to house to fill up bags with candy (or that one house which went against the 1970's mores on Halloween and gave out apples).   Like other kids in my neighborhood I got a time limit for trick or treating, good years were when my mom only made me go out for an hour and bad years was when I had to go out for two hours or more.  I much rather preferred to stay home with my parents and their friends on those years they had friends over and listen to the adult conversations, dress up and do a fashion show of my mom's clothes, high heels, go go boots and jewelry and hand out candy to the constant stream of kids who came to the door. 

In college and into young adulthood I had to often come up with reasons why I couldn't go to parties and haunted houses and such.  I usually always either volunteered to work and then pretended I was disappointed or Halloween was the one night I just had to study or write a paper and dammit, just couldn't break free to join whatever festivities my friends were into that year.  As I got older and more confident in myself I used to just tell my friends I don't like Halloween and it was always met with incredulousness, and questions on how I could not like such a fun holiday.  

I don't have bad memories of Halloween or anything, it just comes down to a few simple truths for me:

1.  I don't like to dress in costumes.  I did marginally enjoy dressing up as a kid (although much preferred to play dress up with my mom's stuff than to dress up as Tinkerbell or a Television (both popular costumes when I was a kid) but as an adult I have no desire to think of a costume and dress up.

2.  I have never enjoyed being afraid.  Basically all the stuff Halloween commemorates -- Ghosts,graveyards, the supernatural and haunted houses scared the bejesus out of me when I was a kid and as an adult I could just never get into faking my fear or intrigue with that stuff.  I am also not one to ride roller coasters or other things.  What can I say? I'm not and never have been a thrill seeker.  Which is not to say that I am not adventurous, but definitely not a thrill seeker, at least not in the Halloween way.

3.  I could get all the candy I wanted at home, why did I need to schlep around in the cold, dark of night to get it?  Our house was always loaded to the gills with tons of cookies, candy and other good stuff.  We almost always had a cake or a pie lying around as well.  My parents had a lot of shortcomings as parents, but a fully stocked kitchen and pantry was never one of them.  Actually other kids frequently showed up at our house to partake in unadulterated snacking of junk food.  At my grandmother's house, they had a whole closet in their house dedicated to the cause of M&M's, Hershey Bars, Nestle's Crunch and Kit Kats on one shelf and a whole other shelf with case after case of Life Savers and other hard candies. What did I need Halloween for? It could be Halloween every night of the year for us if we wanted it.

As an aside, it's pretty amazing that my brothers and I grew up at all with all the junk food in our house.  Ironically though we also ate vegetables and based on how my daughter wouldn't go near a salad if her life depended on it.  We grew up not only eating vegetables and salad but loving them, particularly salad.  How did my mother pull that off?  

OK, back to our regularly scheduled program.

4.  I have never been into big group socializing.  People often react strangely when I say that I am shy in crowds because with anyone I know I can talk, talk, talk and plus I am loud and boisterous.  Still, it is true.  I've always felt uncomfortable in larger groups.  I clam up and basically just try to look like I am not bored out of my mind.  I am not good at small talk and always feel a little bit on display at parties or group gatherings.  I am just not good at starting up a conversation at a party, never have been.  

Halloween is one time where I am certainly glad to not live in the US anymore.  If I were there I know that I would feel torn every year with Maya on what to do.  Do I force myself, get myself and her all dressed up and pretend to love the ritual for her or do withdraw from Halloween completely and possibly, particularly in a Republican administration get put on some 'watch list' for not loving Halloween. 

Luckily I don't have to make those choices.  Happy Halloween everybody!