Friday, July 20, 2012

R is for Resilience

How's this for irony?

So for the last 2 weeks I worry about how Maya is going to handle Violah 's leaving.   I think, rethink a plan, what will be the best thing to do to help her through it.  I watch her like a hawk, interpret all her words, acts and deeds to the point of obsession (see here and here), trying to see them in the context of the bigger picture and really try to handle the situation in Maya's best interest.

We decide not to bring Maya to the airport because all things considered, it will be too hard for her.

Then this morning comes when we actually say goodbye to her, Violah and I are crying our heads off, and Maya is the calm one.  She cuddled with Violah on the couch, hugged her, told her she loved her and would miss her.  Checked that they would Skype together and talk to each other, they hugged and kissed.

Violah and I hugged and Maya hugged us both, Violah and I created the River Mascara in my living room, she left, got into the car with Leo and we waved until she drove away.

Maya hugged me close for a few seconds and then grabbed the iPad and went upstairs.  When I followed and snuggled into bed next to her still crying.  I asked  Maya how she was feeling.  Without looking up from the iPad she said "fine."  A minute later she looked up and saw me still crying and weepy.

"Mommy, why are you crying, we will Skype with Violah, it will be okay,  I am here for you and not going to leave, we are together and on Sunday we will go to Madagascar 3 and pretty soon we will go on vacation, you don't have to be sad, it's going to be okay." 

So here I sit Maya is very quiet and there is a special kind of stillness in the house that is not usually here, that and the scent of Violah's perfume lingering  to pull on my heart strings.  

The student becomes the teacher.

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